Hannabeth's Blog

Life has been good lately. Everything is starting to fall back into place. I leave for the Shadows Fall tour in two weeks. Apparently, the bus I am staying on has leopard interior, fog machines, a disco ball and a sign the lights up which says "Live Nude". Should be an interesting time.. haha. Yesterday I went to Virgin and bought the new Modest Mouse CD, Pretty Persuation, Rules of Attraction, Camille Rose Garcia's art book, and a book teaching you how to make this weird critters. Right now I am eatting a bowl of captain crunch, while trying to wake up and start my day. Chicken won't stop calling, and texting, and messaging.. and even if I tell him a thousand times to leave me alone, he still doesnt get it.. its the mind of a drug adict. they are all liars, and can't understand when you tell them to leave you alone. Last night Ryan came over and his friend spray painted a giant picture of a gloomy bear fight this rabbit above my bed, it turned out really well, and I should have photos soon. I'm at my moms house right now, its weird being in my old room. It's so different than how it was before, the feeling has changed. I love my new dog Mya. She is a German Shepard. I also have 3 smaller dogs, Marilyn, Ratu and Little Kim. Yes, Little Kim was named after the rapper, I named her in 5th grade.. haha.. and Marilyn is named of Marilyn Monroe.. and Ratu.. his full name is Un-Ratu.. not sure what that means.. my brother Marlon named him.

Until next time..

Don't take anything in life to seriously.
Always know there is always tomorrow.
If people have something mean to say about you, it just means they're insecure.

even if i try to explain my life, people still wont understand. a saturday night. sushi with audrey, will "kid paparazzi", andrew "chicken" chris & mike "friends from vegas". after we finished our dinner we made out way to this art show in venice. the artist was tomoo, an amazing painter from Japan. on the drive we had to put 2 people in the front seat, and the rest in back, since there were too many to fit in my car. once we got to the show, chicken was a little tipsy, and had a hard time walking. i was afraid he would collapse into a painting so we told him to sit out on the steps and we would be out shortly. while we were inside we saw some great art, wrestlers from mexico and got to hang with tokidoki. we were there for about 15 minutes, then decided to head back to the apart since chicken was a mess.. everything went downhill from there. the night was about to hit rock bottom. once we got home, will was taking photos, everyone was hanging out, things were good. a little later dev showed up with his friend brian. the rooms got louder, audrey and i, running around with crowns and smeared red lip stick. rock shirts and high socks. the neighbors, probably wanting to kill me from the noise. around midnight nodar, oli and some random russian bust the door open and start freaking out on chicken, saying he screwed them over.. next thing you know ryan and chubs show up.. and a huge fight goes down. chubs ends up fighting oli and winning. after fighting for 5 minutes they ended up knowing some of the same people and working shit out. after that all i wanted to do was go to bed. i was left with blood on my front door, and chicken passed out in the stuffed animals in my room. 20 minutes go by.. nodar and oli show up again.. only this time they have no shirts on.. holding baseball bats, and nodar has a pink bandana.. they ask if ryan and chubs are still here.. i reply no.. then they leave..
AFTER that.. i realize my ipod is missing and we found it in the back of brians pants.. he didnt even remember taking it, but its still no excuse..

that was just a saturday night..

monday some 15 year old kids thought it would be cool to break into my apartment, steal my laptop and sidekick.. little do they know, i know all their names and the cops do too.. nice try..

my life has been non stop. i need a vacation. never a dull moment in this city. even by telling you these stories you will never know how it really felt. how it felt to watch this all happen, just wanting every minute of it to be over. the feeling of content and security is long gone, i now need to regain that. i look like a broken doll today. with messy hair and a ripped dress. even though these past few days have been complete madness, i dont regret them. you grow from these kind of experiences. it taught me i cant be as trusting of people as i usually am. you will never truely know anyone. everyone has their secrets. everyone is a liar.. a dissapointment.

even though my computer is gone.. my sidekick... my screen door busted off the hinges.. life goes on.. there is always tomorrow.. i am taking everything day by day.. and if you want to shit talk go ahead, words dont affect me anymore.. i know who i am, and who i want to be.. and there is nothing wrong with that..

we are all sinners.
goodnight.

last night i saw the hills have eyes two. i didnt see the first one, but i thought this one was alright. the actting wasnt to good, but the killing scenes were pretty brutal. tonight im going to the art opening of this artist tomoo who is from japan. most of his painting consist of just blacks, whites and greys. tomorrow im shooting for draven shoes, should be pretty fun. for the past few days i have been exhausted. i feel like im getting enough sleep, but im never well rested. it sucks. all i feel like doing is laying in bed, watching movies, bubble baths, naps.. haha. not the most exciting life, but i think it is needed. losing someone in life who meant a lot to you is hard to cope with. always thinking about themselves, never taking a look at the bigger picture. everything happens for a reason, but sometimes its hard to understand the reasoning behind it. the weather is perfect today. not too hot, with a little breeze. in the end, we are all sinners. doesnt matter who you are, we are all sinners. in the end, to live a life of no regrets would be the greatest accomplishment for man to accomplish. i try to keep my mind set on the postive, but i have a habbit for always letting the negative things get in the way. in most situations, i will usually think of the negative outcome and just say focused on that.. when in reality i need to be thinking positive.. its all fucked up.. no one is living the perfect life. if you dig deep enough you will realieze that. stop bringing yourself down, and start trying to live the life you deserve.

On Sunday Audrey & I went to be in the Marilyn Manson music video. On the way there we ended up in south central. Once we found the spot, we made our way in and headed straight to wardrobe. we arrived there around 4:30 p.m. and nothing even happend till around midnight.. At around 11p.m marilyn manson started freaking out because the outfits werent what he described.. he wanted sheer.. i ended wearing black undies with white ruffles, a pink lacey top, fishnets, black boots, and a braided headband around my head. Ginger Fish.. who is the drummer of marilyn mansons band, ended up hanging out with us most of the time.. at one point marilyn manson freaked out on wardrobe and threw a glass against the wall.. it was amazing.. haha. when we finally started filming the makeup artist went around spraying water and putting oil on us, so it looked like we were all dirty and sweaty. haha. in the scene we were in, we were at a "club" dancing around.. having fun.. and in dead center was evan rachel wood (marilyn mansons girlfriend) with a beautiful dress and red heart shaped glasses. at around 3a.m audrey and i started to get tired, so we ended up leaving the shoot early. hopefully it turns out well. i really liked the song, so im hoping the cd is just as good.

things i have coming up this week..

Wednesday: Meeting w. Buzznet, Plain White T's at the House of Blues
Thursday: Photoshoot w. Kingston
Friday: FaceDown Fest at the GlassHouse

waking up at noon everyday. working on designs for the new line. pinkberry. probably my favorite snacks at the moment. i always get the green tea, with captain crunch, strawberries, and granola. today i have to go to the post office to ship out a few tote bags, that im taking care of my little brother at 6. i miss the cold. LA has been taken over by heat. my nails are all chipped, in deperate need of a manicure. on april 17 i leave for tour. ill be traveling the US with shadows fall, lacuna coil & stone sour. wednesday night i went to le deux. le deux is this club in hollywood that people will actually wait hours for to get inside. nothing fancy there. this one guy, whos claim to fame is being in a zales commercial always stands in the same spot by the bar and attempts to get my number. i usually just smile and walk away, trying to avoid that he said anything at all. then theres the roped off section where you can find trashey celebs such as tara reid or that one girl from laguna beach.. the music in the first room is always the best.. once you make your way to the second room the music is lowered, and everyone is sitting around having a coctail.. the last room is the room which is never crowded. they dj plays hiphop and usually about 10 to 15 people are attempting to show of their moves in hope that someone will care and perhaps ask them to dance. i want real food daily for lunch. its this sauve vegan restaurant down my street..

sometimes you just have to sit back and relax.
nothing is worth stressing over.
life is too short.
enjoy what you have.

These next few weeks are going to be busy! Start filming on Tuesday. Hosting a club with DJ Skeet Skeet on Wednesday with Ima Robot as our special guest. Visits from Kyle. Dead to Fall Slumber Party 07 Sesh. And tons more!!! xoxo. sunflower seeds in bed with someone you love. miss that.

Tomorrow I leave once again. Off to Kentucky to meet up with my boy Mike, and finish the tour with his band Gwen Stacy. We will also be spending a few days in Indiana, I can't wait. Japan was a blast! I love how advanced they are with everything. The cafe A to Z was great! I miss it already. I'll be home in a week or so, then back to the clothing line & photoshoots! Busy Busy Busy!!!